The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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