thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
