just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
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