If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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