WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
