How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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