I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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