she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize