When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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