I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize