I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
