So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dignity is for republicans.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
