then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
