worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
