when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
