At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
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they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
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Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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