i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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