I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
