Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
