im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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