She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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