Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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