Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We named our party play list daddy issues
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
