Yo dont text me then not text me
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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