I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So vagazzling was a success
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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