I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
