worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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