Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize