The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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