I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
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He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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