i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
