I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
