Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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