When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize