I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
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