Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
