I need help removing her.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
