did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
pray to the hookup gods
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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