break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
