need another drink. this is the easiest way
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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