Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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