she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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