My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize