Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
