I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
