I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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