I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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