i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
