You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
