Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
