She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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