i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just threw up on my dentist
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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