Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
