it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize