I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
