How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
