Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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