Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
