I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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