feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
