When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
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Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
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I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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