she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
