you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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