2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
