so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
