So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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