what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
