I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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