You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
